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Starting Over With Someone – Managing Conflict

Posted by on March 17, 2013 in Communicating Effectively, Focus on Outcomes, Manages Conflict | 1 Comment

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So, your boss/coworker/employee drives you crazy? Dread the email or phone call you know will come on Monday, or after you sent out a communication? Are there certain situations you avoid because of “what happened before”?

Over at “Leadership Freak”, Dan Rockwell identifies the biggest obstacle to starting over with someone whom you have crossed swords with in the past. Guess what? It’s YOU! (Hint – it’s usually ALWAYS you, no matter the question.)

One of the points that struck me most is the tip about defining success. While critical to any organization, we often overlook defining smaller things, such as your relationship with the boss. If it is a inherent goal to get wins, even small wins, or the often-sought-but-less-often-achieved “Win/Win”, you can’t get them unless you have put some thought into figuring out what a win looks like. As Rockwell points out, “undefined wins can’t be won.” Or, as the late Steven Covey said many years ago, “Start with the end in mind.”